Flash Fiction Sample

Shine like the sun

I stood on Chloe’s veranda ready for a night of study. To my surprise she opened the door wearing a black, sequined mini-dress.  

 “Indie!” She frowned. “Omg, this is going to take a miracle. They’ll be here soon.”


 “Ryan and Josh.” Chloe led me to her room. “They’re taking us to Tommy Brown’s birthday party.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me? I look a mess.”

 “Would you have come if I told you?

I shook my head. “Probably not.”

She held up an indigo and turquoise tie-dyed dress. “This is for you to wear.”

“I really think I should go home.”

 “Please, Indie, just get into the dress, put on some make-up and I’ll fix your frizz.”  As Chloe straightened my hair, she looked nervous.

 “What’s the matter?” I asked.

 “You know how I’ve always had a crush on Ryan?”


“Well, he’s just dumped his girlfriend so this is my chance.”  

“So why are you taking me?”

“Josh agreed to bring Ryan if I brought you.”

 “You’re not making sense, Chloe.”

“Indie, for a girl who’s so intuitive you’re a bit slow here. Josh likes you.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“It’s true, I swear.”

 “I don’t want to burst your bubble, Chloe, but being study buddies doesn’t make us friends. There’s no way I’ll fit in with your crowd.”

Chloe looked shocked. “How can you say we’re not friends, your my closest friend.”

“Me? But you’re always surrounded by people.”

 “People yes, not necessarily friends. Please, Indie, come with me and I’ll tell you the secret of my social success.”

“Hmmm! That’s tempting.”

“I know I seem confident, Indie, but often it’s all a front. Whenever I walk into a room I imagine I’m the sun and everyone is drawn to me.”

            I nodded. “It certainly works for you.”

            “It can work for you too, Indie.”

Ring, ring, ring, ring! We bolted to the door and Chloe flung it open. Josh stood on the veranda.  “Hi, girls!” He never even looked at Chloe. “Wow! You look fantastic, Indie.”

Heat rushed to my cheeks. “Thanks, Josh; it’s all Chloe’s work.”

Josh looked surprised. “I think you always look great, Indie.”

In the car Chloe kept the conversation going, giving me time to bathe in the memory of Josh’s compliments.  When we arrived at the party I imagined I was a sun, just like Chloe suggested. Everyone came up to Chloe as usual, but then they asked. “Who’s your friend?”

After five minutes Chloe looked fed up and I had an odd thought.  Is Chloe jealous of the attention I’m getting?

  “Follow me,” she said heading towards the foyer stairs.

Great!  It looks like Chloe’s going to put me in my place.

We walked up the stairs and I dreaded what was coming next. Halfway up Chloe turned and clapped her hands.  “I’ve got an announcement to make.”

Everyone gathered around.

“So that I don’t have to answer this question one hundred times, this is Indie from my maths and science class. Most of you should know her.”

There were whispers from the crowd and I knew they didn’t even remember me.   “Tonight Indie looks hot, so everyone’s paying attention to her, but this girl, my friend, has so many wonderful qualities and I think we should all be ashamed that we have ignored them up until now.”

“Here, here!” called Josh. He clapped and Ryan followed. 

For a moment the crowd remained silent, but then everyone clapped.

During the night so many people spoke to me and seemed truly interested, but it was Josh’s words that meant the most.

“I’ve always noticed you, Indie. I didn’t need Chloe to tell me you’re special.”

By Dee Rayson

The Hows and Whys of This Flash Fiction

 I started by defining my character types (I use colour personality profiling to do this). I chose a  setting from a lucky dip that I often use and I got the setting (party). I kept most of the dialogue short to keep the story moving. As the characters developed I rewrote the piece several times, deleting dialogue that didn’t keep strengthening the development of the characters. I noticed a theme appearing, (things aren’t always as they seem). Once I could see the theme it was easy to create the twist (Indie expects to be put in her place not defended by the ever popular Chloe).

If you would like more information about any of the individual steps mentioned about please tell me in the comments below.

Bye, Dee.




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One Response for " Flash Fiction Sample "

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